When life gives you lemons….

GRAB THEM!!! What a weird day yesterday was, to say the least. My husband’s ex wife (the one who originally split us up 22 years ago – oh Karma, I love thee dearly!) had removed me off her Facebook friends list. Now, as I am sure you can imagine, I was crying. Yes, tears of laughter were rolling down my face when I found out! Bearing in mind, I have done nothing but try to keep her in contact with Myles, managed to get Leigh over when he was younger to spend a whole Christmas with his Dad and Myles (something they hadn’t ever done). I let my 2 go to their Dad’s house too that day so lay in bed on my own watching Supernatural crying like a baby but it was the medication and I am not budging on that one!

I went off on a tangent (hah!). So, Ann, Bert’s ex wife sent me a message on Whatsapp yesterday and returned to my Facebook- wooo! Lucky me! In fairness, I got a polite congratulations, thanks for looking after her son and I though that was pretty much it. Until later on the stinger came. Now, this is quite complicated so bear with me. Ann has 2 children with Bert – Leigh and Myles. She has another, Liam, to her second husband who is now in his father’s custody, and yet another, Kieran to her on/off ‘boyfriend’. Bearing in mind she is the same age as me, and Kieran is 2 you get the picture. Just an aside, Bert and I are the only people to have had all 4 of them under the same roof at the same time- go figure. Incidentally, I have known Ann since I was 13 so the haters can get behind me, I was there first!

She asked me to call her yesterday, which I duly did. Turns out she is in court next month for custody of Kieran and things are NOT looking good for her. So, she has asked me to take parental responsibility for Myles, properly and through the lawyers. Hell, if it was up to Myles, he wants me to adopt him but I have explained that I can’t. She wants me to do it so that it hopefully looks good on her that she is making provisions for her other children, but has played right into our hands and given us what we wanted.

Yup, wasn’t expecting that one. In fairness, she was very upset on the phone and even though I founded the ‘ We hate Ann’ fan club 26 years ago, I still found it upsetting to hear her like that so we had a good old chat. It has been decided that Leigh will come back to us sooner rather than later, I will have parental responsibility for Myles (Leigh doesn’t need it due to his age) and that should anything happen to Liam’s family he will come and live with us. I am a mother and I KNOW it must have been hard for her to do this.

When Bert came home, he was gobsmacked at what had happened. Myles is ecstatic as he (and this is a very hard thing to write, but to quote him) ‘hates her’. Now, I was privately educated so I have a couple of friends who are lawyers so gave one a quick call and she told me to grab it with both hands, and not let go. She is one smart cookie, so I am going to go along with her advice, and she has offered to do our side of the paperwork with Ann’s lawyer. If I drank it would be champagne all round!!

Do you know what? For someone that is bedridden a lot of the time due to various medical conditions, my life can be quite interesting! We have nicknamed our bedroom Mission Control and even from here, in my state, all 4 of our children call me the lynchpin of the family. I personally think it is Bert, but they see it differently. I am their confidante, study buddy, bank, you name it!

I will leave you with some of my own particular brand of what I find funny. I am missing 7 teeth. Joshua and Elizabeth’s father knocked them out of me years ago and I can’t afford to get them redone (I do have a plate for special occasions but hate wearing it). Last night, Captain Epilepsy struck with a vengeance of epic proportion. I think by the time Bert got to me we were on about #8 so out came the Midazolam. Now, when I seize, I curl up to the right and then go into the tonic/clonic phase of the seizure cycle. Only this time I had broken a tooth and cut the inside of my cheek! So when it was all over, Bert threw me onto my back to give me said Midazolam and I looked like a cross between Carrie and The Joker. As Bert has to film my seizures I think George Romero would have been proud of the outcome! And it was frothy too! All I am going to say is praise be for M&S washable and tumble dryable pillows!!

I have never asked to see the film clips as I have normally forgotten about them, but this time I asked to see them. Not going to do it again as I have to admit, as a fully trained RNLD, I cried when I saw what my family has to see on a daily basis. So today I am going to write myself up a care plan, which is going to be designed to have as little impact on the family as possible as I did NOT like what I saw, and plus, it will get my old grey matter flowing in the right direction.

Today I am going to give thanks for Ann coming to her senses and doing right by her son, and giving me that gift even though it must have hurt her.

So on a seizure count of about 12 by the time I had finished, a mini horror film and a broken tooth, I shall bid thee adeiu



Christ, pass the Valium

I think we can safely say that today has not gone to plan. I am currently ensconced in my bed (well, more of a nest with a cot side in case I fall out – which I have done on several occasions) with just me, Bert at the other end of the baby monitor and Marvel films for company (currently on The Incredible Hulk if anyone is interested). Oh joy of joys. And as for the Valium? I wasn’t joking. It is 5pm and I got 2 hours sleep last night and you betcha, little sleep = lots of fits. Already had 4 today so far so am taking time out to have a bit of a release and break from them.

Well, the wedding dress fitting didn’t go to plan yesterday – my lovely (and I genuinely mean it) dressmaker called saying that the embroidery wasn’t finished so wedding dress fitting take 2 on Friday. At 10am – should be interesting! I am not normally able to get my legs moving until lunchtime!

Yesterday wasn’t a total bomb though, Mum, Bert and I went up to our main town and did some (more) shopping and had lunch out which was rather pleasant for a change. Sure as hell beats my normal routine of having to sit in bed whilst other people do things for me. If you haven’t already noticed, I am having a downer of a day.

So, on to brighter things. 3 weeks ago, we, and by that I mean me, my Mum, Joshua and Elizabeth thought that that was our family. My father drank himself to death a few years ago and it was a running joke that we could hold a family reunion in a broom cupboard. I know I am marrying into a big family, but that is besides the point. Anyway, Mum got a message out of the blue on Facebook asking about her Father. All we knew was that he abandoned her and my Grandmother when she was 2 and a half and that was the last we heard and presumed him dead (my Mum is 70). Well, seems not. Not that my Grandfather is dead, he most certainly is, but it turned out she had a younger brother who had been looking for her for 22 years.

As you can imagine, a bit of a shock to say the least! So, with phone numbers exchanged over the internet, Mum called her younger brother and he had a bit of a shock for her too. She doesn’t have one brother, or two, or three or four. She has 5! Yep, Mum went from being an only child to one of 6 in the space of 24 hours! Oh, and I get 11 cousins into the mix too. Pretty impressive for a day’s work.

Our new found family live a boat or plane ride away but have been beyond welcoming. We honestly had no idea they were out there as Mum had always forbidden me for looking for my Grandfather but they had known about her for 22 years and had never given up. I know it sounds like the kind of crap you would see on daytime TV, but to actually have it to you is unbelievable. My Uncles, Aunties and cousins have all been very helpful and tolerant of me – they all live close by and are from a big family. I am an only child, with two of my own so there is so much to take in. I do hasten to add, I nearly got Mum to sign an affidavit that I WAS an only child!

As I can’t travel at the moment, Mum is going over to see them before Christmas and hopefully I will make it over afterwards. Obviously apart from the wedding (3 weeks and 3 days, not that I am counting) I can’t wait to meet them all. One of my Uncle’s wife’s I have hit it off with really well and we email daily, just usual dross but I love it.

So, tomorrow, and I swear I am not lying, I am going to try and get the rest of the wedding invites out. I kid you not. Nothing like leaving it until the last minute. In my mitigation, I haven’t been at my best but I really should have pulled my finger out by now. Ah well, who turns up will turn up – as long as the Priest, Bert and I are there I am passed caring currently. I am sure I will feel differently tomorrow!

Apologies for this being all over the place, just how my brain works, but I had a Drs appointment yesterday. Now, for anyone that doesn’t know, if you have an infection, you are more susceptible to seizures. I am not quite sure who to thank for the chest infection that I am now thoroughly enjoying (or to quote Bert at 3am – “God, you are barking like a dog with that cough”) but if I make it up the aisle I will be impressed!

Just a general out loud thought but I can smell curry coming from the kitchen and urgh, it is making me want to puke! No doubt in about 25 minutes I am going to be asked what I would like for my tea (Bert is an absolute superstar, believe you and me, I couldn’t cope without him and wouldn’t cope without him) but I can absolutely guarantee that curry is NOT going to be top of the list! I have gone right off hot food since I had a fit face first into a bowl of chili and scalded my face funnily enough! Apparently there are tons of pictures of me on the families phones of me in states of seizures doing strange things (all with my prior permission, I hasten to add). I was introduced to ‘planking’ by one of them and it looked to all intents and purposes that I had joined in the craze, the only giveaway being I was unconscious as I had knocked myself out against the skirting board in the process!

Apparently the hilarity just gets better when I eat after I have taken my medication (I have to have it after food). I have no idea why but sometimes it just hits me like a brick wall and I try and feed my nose, eyes, you name it. Bert and I have been known to be sat together with me trying to feed my nose and him directing me ‘lower, lower, too low, up a bit’ – you get the picture (that I am NOT posting!!)

As for Leanne trying on her bridesmaids dress, I will leave that for another day as I don’t think there is enough Valium in the pharmacy to get me through that drama.

So, with tentative plans of delivering the last of the wedding invitations and (consults diary) bugger all else tomorrow and on a seizure count of 4, I bid thee farewell.