This May, my brother in law Richard is getting married and has asked Bert to be best man. I am absolutely thrilled that he has, as without Richard, I would never have met Bert, and he has I have always had a huge platonic soft spot in my heart for him as, without him, as I have mentioned before, I would have gone under a very long time ago.
So, today has come as a bit of a surprise to me to say the least. Yesterday I hit over 40 seizures by the time night time ‘knock out drops’ for bed came. I didn’t sleep so well, due to Joshua and his other half falling up the stairs at quarter to 4 this morning and haven’t been able to get back to sleep. Who am I kidding, all this is besides the point.
So, Richard’s wedding. Bert best man, and I have got most of my outfit/makeup/plans in situ for the day. I am going to have to go in Lilith, so the dress is going to be stylish but discrete and I am going for the monochrome grey spectrum to go with my eyes! The bride to be had suggested blue, but it washes me out and having shown her daughter the dress I have chosen, we are good to go. I was going to buy it this week but our cooker decided to die, so next month it will be.
Anyway, Elizabeth and I have been pouring over the latest Avon brochure as we both need a few bits. Little did I know that whilst we were doing it, Bert was on the phone to Richard about the wedding.
Now, as it is Richard’s second wedding and I cannot be left unattended at any time, I had wrongly assumed that I would be going up first thing in the morning and getting ready with the gents as I do need a hand, going to the wedding with them and parking myself discretely in the corner, but still within sight of Bert.
I have a medication that I can take that will 99% guarantee that I won’t fit for 6 hours within taking it, so was going to have it just before the service (it is a civil ceremony, not a church wedding) which would see me through the meal afterwards, right up to popping our heads into the evening ‘do’ that Bert and I had previously agreed not to stay long at. Perfect I thought.
Apparently not. The bride to be doesn’t want me there with the men in the morning, and Richard wants Bert there the night before. Now, he KNOWS that nobody is in a position to take care of me overnight currently. My Mum is 70 and she can’t cope with 1 seizure, never mind the 40 odd I had yesterday, and I feel that it is too much responsibility to put on any of our children. Apart from that, the only night I have spent away from my husband was the night before our own wedding, and that didn’t go so well!
So I am happily sat with Elizabeth trawling the Avon brochure and Bert comes in with a smile saying that he had something to make me smile. All good so far. He and Richard had been talking about me and the wedding and came to some rather extreme conclusions. Bert is not going to be best man, Richard is going to ask another friend and that is it, case closed. No option for me to offer my opinion, come to some compromise, speak to Bridezilla or anything.
I know how much it means to Bert to be Richard’s best man, and to be truthful, how much it would mean to me too. BUT – no. All decided without me getting any say. I have offered to go into respite the night before, and get taken up in the morning – NO. I have offered to get my best friend who is more than capable of looking after me to come up with me just before the wedding with Joshua taking us up, and bringing my friend home – NO. I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall.
The only option I can see is if I don’t go to the wedding at all, but Bert is refusing to go if I don’t. I really feel as though I have got my back up against the wall on this one.
Oh, and for the first time since we got married, Bert isn’t talking to me. Great. Just what I need. Going to stick my thinking cap on for this one for sure.